Words to a second time mum about the fourth trimester

I will never speak the words “enjoy every moment”.

Because you won’t.

There will be moments you wish you could run away.

Moments that feel too much.

You’ll wonder how you’re going to juggle a toddler and a newborn.

You’ll loath the sight of dishes.

Day dream about burning the clothes pile so you don’t have to deal with it (this is not the recommended method of dealing with your clothes couch 🤣).

You’ll wish it was you that could escape the home, child free, and go and be around other grown ups the way your partner can.

There will be moments that make you doubt your power.

That’s where I step in.

I’m here to remind you that you are capable.

You are more capable than you give yourself credit for.

I’m here to validate every emotion.

I’m here to remind you to just survive.

Get through today.

Sink into the acceptance that today is shit.

Tomorrow will be different.

For now, find what works and do that.

Doesn’t matter if it goes against all the “shoulds”.

Put the tv on.

Get take away.

Skip the bath tonight.

Just survive.

The fourth trimester as a mother of two is a chaotic whirlwind.

You will need help.

More than you think, for longer than you think.

You will need more patience than you realise, and can even comprehend right now.

If you’re having baby two around the time when baby one is 2-3, you’re going through not one, but FOUR massive seasons.

👉🏼Newborn phase

👉🏼Toddler to preschooler development

👉🏼Your second rebirth

👉🏼Relationship growth

And you’ll be doing it on VERY little sleep.

But you’ll do it.

I know you will.

I know you can.

I know how hard you’ll try to have it all together, like society says you should,

But I’m here to remind you that that’s just not realistic.

In an age where visitors deplete after a few weeks, and you’re left with two humans demanding EVERY inch of you.

I’m here to gently say “it’s okay to not be okay right now”.

It’s okay if you don’t love this moment.

Because I know what’s coming.

I know the heart exploding moments that are around the corner. Just a few blinks away.

I know how you’ll beam with pride watching your eldest play so gently with their sibling.

I know how much you’ll love hearing the giggles of two kids from the other room.

I also know those giggles usually mean they’ve destroyed something - and you should probably go check soon - but enjoy the peace for now 😉

I know it’s hard right now.

But it gets better.

You get stronger.

They grow.

You will breathe again.